Camping Lunch and Other Bad Poetry: How to Pack a Camping Cooler
Feeling Lucky
As I write this post, I have an excellent dry salami and my favourite folding knife in hand.
Beside me is a slightly fancy cooler, well provisioned from the farmers’ market. I lay out a spread of watermelon, chips and dip and properly shitty beer, set out artfully on the back of the wool jacket I shrugged off as the afternoon sun got hotter. The odd snappy carrot, a mini cuke and a radish round out a sun-drenched feast.
There is nothing better than a camping lunch to induce a cheeky lakeside nap — followed by a brisk skinny dip to shake you awake again.
Maybe you got lucky (because you crushed several Lucky)
Perhaps you caught a rainbow trout. Pancake mix procured from the trunk provides a dredge to make yourself a bacon fat-crispy trout treat — a squeezy side of Japa-mayo is optional depending on your level of preparation before packing your cooler.
This kind of provisioning allows for an extended appreciation of dragonflies, tied-flies and wind lines dancing on the water’s surface, sparkling in the sun.
Here are a few tips on how to pack a camping cooler.
I call it the “Opportunistic-and-Somewhat-Stoned-Omnivore,” West Coast edition.
Cold beer in cans (both functional camping beers – mandatory Lucky’s and well as “fancy” beers – mostly lagers, pilsners and a few darker beers for cooler nights. Bonus point for remembering a koosy. Pack beers in the “beverage” cooler with the loose ice
Small-format Brown Liquor – bourbon, whisky or dark aged rhum
Red campfire wine (I have a secret love of Zinfandel and old Cali Cab - particularly funny, but not uncommon, for an ex-Pinot Noir maker)
A can of not-shitty white wine (for steaming clams)
Gin, fancy tonic
Citrus, more than you think is necessary – lemons, limes (for dranks and squeezing on trouts, crabs, clams and other foraged sea treasures)
Coffee, cream - a pour-over set up,old-skool perculator or a magical “Dashpresso”
Butter – at least a pound, minimum.
Top notch eggs
Thoughtful bacon (duh)
Hot dogs- I prefer a Harvest wiener for obvious reasons; mostly, though, because they are “individually wrapped for freshness” note: this is a true bonus if your loose-y wieners go rogue in the bottom of your cooler. Also bonus points for buying brioche buns (a real premeditated way to enjoy a “crab-roll” if you happen to catch/procured crabs and grill up the extra buns in the butter you packed. **Buns DO NOT go in the cooler – rather in the “soft bag” with the chips and fruit like bananas. Soft bag survives the journey better if suspended in the car. My partner also suspend our Jack Russel Terrier in the truck for space-saving reasons.
Condiments – Obviously ketchup, mustard, relish for dogs, but also Dijon doesn’t hurt for spontaneous sandos, Japanese mayo will lubricate most camping foods with umami-flare, especially your bacon tomato sando that you will make yourself for breakfast, especially if you prefer a open-faced, tomato-forward version . Bringing a small bottle or pouch of your favourite hot sauce is generally a good idea (for breakfast hash). Sauce is life - no need to lead a boring, dry existence.
Salt and pepper (grinder for pep please)
Oatmeal or granola, for health.
Yogurt
Buttermilk Pancake mix – for pancakes, sure, but works brilliantly for fish fillet dredge
Fruits, again for health, so you don’t die eating hot dogs…soft fruit like bananas hang somewhere and berries, if you must, put in a tupperware or closed box)
New potatoes - pretty much perfect with butter, s&p and parsley. Extras slso make excellent breakfast fry up
Corn on the cob - (making slutty eloté Mexi corn is a winning camping treat)
Summer market veg (carrots, cukes, radish), once more, so you don’t die – they take up less room if you clean them up first
Fancy cheese for picnic-ing and snax– closed container so they don’t get cooler sweaty…
Salumi – same.
Chili (made ahead of time) or other stew-ey business to re-heat (pro-tip recently took pre-braised lamb shanks and pork cheeks)
A half chicken spatchcocked, kabob meat or steak to cook over fire or cast-iron pan (marinate and put in ziplock or suck-bag ahead of time)
Fresh herbs, if you’re fancy (basil for bacon sandos, parsley for clams, a bunch of thyme for butter basting steaks)
Onions, garlic (for spontaneous crab/clam treasure and breakfast hash making, fried onions make everything better)
Small bottle good olive oil and other cooking oil or fat
Nuts, chips, crackers, popcorn etc. ‘cause snax – definitly pack in the “side soft bag”
Other masterclass moves:
bonus points for Yeti Bear proof latches on your cooler
packing in ziplock bags for space saving and avoid inevitable cooler juice saturation and or Tupperware to protect for soft berries, butter, bananas etc. Take extra zippy bags.
Pack two coolers or one big one with two compartment zones – one with beer and cold beverages with loose ice (for max coolness and available cocktail ice, as a gin and tonic without ice is the Devil’s work). Pack the other cooler with meat, veg, condiments with block ice or superior lasting ice pack.
Have fun out there. #stayhungry
